Tour of My Existence

Since the first day I walked through that door. My life totally changes.
I began to question myself. About the purpose of being alive.
I began to ask myself. Is it a place where I want to be?
And I began to look within myself, to figure out my final destination.

I could still remember that day.
It was raining on that morning.
I was soaked wet when I was reporting duty.
But I managed to warm myself before hand before I met our Chief Assistant Director(KPP).
And so, we talked, we chatted and we got to know each other.
At the time, I was thinking he was a serious type of guy, but later I figured, he is nothing like what I had imagined.

Hello bloggers!!!
Wow!!! It's been a month. And plus plus.
Since the last time I published an entry in here.
Can't believe it's been a while.

Speaking of which, a month is a very long time.
Anything could happen in a month.
Anything could change in a second.
Let alone a month. Thirty days.

Throughout my absence, I began to see things clearly, differently.
I began to listen to my inner voice and really look into things that was happening.
And throughout my journey, I really learned something new, something fresh.
So, just let me give you guys a brief of summary.
And just bear this with me.

"A life is like a domino.", anonymous.
 That is so true.
A decision just leads to another few decisions.
When it is not reviewed, it will lead to a few mistakes, and eventually a failure.
So, these decisions need to be reviewed, to make things better in the future.
Unless we do this, we will never learn.

So, what have I done, yesterday?
1. I chose to postpone my work till evening.
When there are so many thing to do, I was forced to postpone my work till the afternoon, even though I could finish them earlier, if I had planned how to do all of them.

2. I chose to let myself do everything
When there are so many thing to do, and my supervisors wasn't there. Everything is up to me. Because I can't see things undone. My heart just can't be at peace with things are left alone. With no one to look into them.

Evaluate the past is just another process of evaluating performance.
But right now, the future is much more important.
And in order to change the future, I must change the present.
And so, developing a vision is a must.
And in order to do that, one way is to write a journal.
Because like I said, in the previous entry, write a journal is important.
So, here it goes;

 
It sounds funny, because I have no idea what it's all about.
But later, it kept coming back to me.
It feels like karma. Every time something goes wrong, to myself; I remembered this law.
And finally, I know it's true and it’s the real deal.

If You Think Everything Will Be Perfect. Think Again. [source]

No Connection. No Selection.
No Connection. No Promotion.
This is what currently happening.
It's the true nature of our society.
It's a situation that we could never annihilate.
Completely. Holistically.

In order to get a job, we need "cables".
To get higher chance of a promotion, there must be bigger "network".
That's the way, how things are done.
In the competition of getting jobs.
In the hypocrisy world on getting promotions.
Even, in the political world of back-stabbing and two-face nature.
This is happening.

A Social Network is Important, But Sometimes, It can Become a Liability. [source]

Time Always Moves. We Can't Outrun It. [source]

Time.
Everyone has 24 hours per day.
Everybody has 7 days per week.
But why? Why does it seems not enough?
Where did I do something wrong?

Let me see.
Monday
Interview & Presentation Techniques Course.
It was held for three(3) days straight.
It was tiring and at home, I needed to do preparations for the next day.
By the time I finished, I was tired, and gone to sleep.
Scared, that I won't be able to wake up early.

A life in a hand. [source]

6.00 pm. Monday.
Received a call. An unknown number.
Curiosity started to build up. Who might that be.
There was a voice on the other end. A woman.

Caller: Hello, is this ******?.

Me: Yeah, that's me.

Caller: Hello, I'm ****** *** from Shell. I found your resume from JobStreet.com.

Me: Owh, I see.

Caller: Do you want to join Shell Recruitment Day?

Me: Yeah, sure. Why not? (Even though, I didn't have any idea what was that :)

Caller: Okay, if that so. I'll send you an invitation afterward. Is this your email address? ******@yahoo.com.

Me: Yeah, that's right.

Caller: By the way, are you currently working?

Me: Hmmm...yeah, but I'm on a contract. But I could terminate it with a one week notice.

Caller: Ok, that's good. I'll send you an email after this. Be sure to send your complete resume' since your resume' in JobStreet isn't complete.

Me: Yeah, I know, let me send you another one then.

Caller: Okay, thank you. Bye.

Me: Bye.

Last night, after work. Browsing through my mail.
Found interesting job opportunities through Jobstreet.com.
Made me thinking.
Am I capable to attend the interview session.
Am I brave enough to face the interviewers.
Am I confident enough to walk through that door.
Dilemma, I have to attend interviews. Damn.
Aaahhh~it made me realized, it's just like a blind date, once I had before.

Believe it or not, Blind Dates and Interviews have the same criteria.
The mystery. The anxiety. The preparation and not to forget, the Q&A session.

Be prepared for the unexpected. [source]

Clearly, a date and interview are two separate things for that matter.
Two separate things, which have lots in common.
A date involves love and relationship. Interview relates to career and path of life.
However, those two leads to the same goal, a better future.

Honestly, I'm so freak out about interviews. The reason, I'm not confident enough.
Ask me to present anything or give a talk on something.
I can, I know that I could do it, and I'll be confident. But not in interviews.
I'm sure that I'm pretty good in communication, but not in answering.
Answering questions, which I don't have the answers.
I guess, I'm terrified of not knowing.

Say What???

Everyone talks but do you know how to listen effectively?  Ask yourself, "Am I a good listener?" So, think before you answer......Okay, times up. Are you sure of your answer? Well, let's find out.
Believe it or not, God gave us a mouth and a pair of ears for a reason and this is the reason. Its because, He wants us to talk less and listen MORE. But, do you know how to listen? So, these are some tips on how to listen effectively?
Of course, we listens with our ears, but there's a trick. In order it to become effective, we listens carefully and attentively to what others are saying. So, avoid distractions when you are about to have a serious discussions or meetings. I means all, including incoming messages or calls, outstanding minutes of a meeting, and even if you have a very important business deals that you need to take care of.

Keep on Smiling!!!

A few days ago, I went to this talk about "Challenges in Developing High Performance". It was a great talk performed by Datuk Mary Yap Kain Ching and I learned a lot from her, where I reflected situations that I had faced before. Then, I was thinking. I should share this. What's the point of learning if you don't share a thing? At least, this is my part to share some useful knowledge that I had acquired.

So, did u noticed that, since the appointment of Dato' Seri Najib Razak as our Prime Minister, one of his vision is towards high performance of our nation. That's the reason why, he created 4 pillars towards realizing Vision 2020;

you get the idea...right???

TWO days ago, I received a message about a job vacancy on management and professional group  in Universiti Malaysia Sarawak(UNIMAS) from a friend, who is now working there. And yesterday , my mum gave me a list of vacancies at the same place and she told me to take this opportunity. Then, I started to wonder. Should I take it or shouldn't I?


Hurm....actually, there were many times, where I got the opportunities to work somewhere else. BUT, I took them lightly, where I used my defense mechanism effectively. I started to give excuses just to ignore the opportunities that I got.